Jokes
Something to make you smile on Monday
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I was at the Leicester Comedy Festival and my performance was being signed. The girl was doing a fantastic job, until I got to the bit where I explained that I wanted to grow my beard really long, weave it into my pubes then strum it like a harp, which I demonstrated with a mime. She looked slightly taken aback, then signed it, which was exactly the same as my mime. So this is the only bit of sign language I know I can do accurately..it's a start!
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Mister Frog jumped out of the pond Into the pouring rain He said, 'My word! It's cold and wet', And jumped back in again!
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What do birds eat for breakfast?
Tweetabix
What do cows eat for breakfast?
Mooseli
What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Dreaded Wheat
What do Grandpas eat for breakfast?
All Gran -
What does Harry Enfield eat for breakfast?
Corny Flakes and Coco Flops -
Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?
Because he was a little shellfish!
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Customer: This coffee tastes like mud
Waiter: Well it was ground ten minutes ago
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